The reason that I have started this club is that I have to go to work and people are mean to me there, and it is like I am in jail all the time, but I have done no crime! And at work, they say to me, "Lisa! You have to be political-correct to the CHICKEN MANS!" Nobody says to the chicken mans, "Hey, Chicken Mans, you have to be political-correct to Special Princesses like Lisa Pea!"

And some things are wrong. It is wrong to eat the meat of yourself! It is wrong to have babies with animals! It is wrong to be a leprechaun! It is wrong to take things that are not yours! It is wrong to go sticking your big greasy fingers onto other peoples' food! It is wrong to have a dirty teeth contest! IT IS WRONG TO BE A CHICKEN MAN!

The one thing that is even wronger than being a chicken man is if you are a chicken man and you go around places you do not belong! Your job is at the circus! Go there! Don't go working at big telephone companies, and putting your dirty chicken poop around those places, and making people look at your pasty yellow chicken legs!

Go to the circus, chicken man. Go back to the circus. We know what you put in your yard. We know what is in your trashcans. Go find some big chicken man church or a circus, and stop coming around our houses with the rest of the circus people and the bad god people.